Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Someone left me ...

Flash back to my history. Grandma taking care of me when I was young. If I'm not wrong, from I am still a baby till I am 4 years old. I am closer to grandma instead of grandpa. I hardly talked to my grandpa since he is a typical old chinese man with strong values. He looks very fierce to me. All that I heard from my aunt and uncle, grandpa don't really like me and it is very much because I'm a crying baby last time. Whenever I don't see grandma around, I felt insecure and cried. Hence people around me feel that I so troublesome. :p, guess I should not blame my grandpa for disliking me. Hahaha.

I still remember the good old days, where grandpa will come back from the orchard + rubber plantation at noon to have lunch at home. I can smell all the sweat and dried rubber whenever he came back after a long day at the orchard/rubber plantation. Grandpa will have a big soup bowl of rice for lunch. He like to eat meat a lot and very little vege. Yeah, basically grandpa is a meat eater. Grandpa would also mix the rice with plain water. I guess he don't like gravy and "watering" the rice will make it easier to swallow after a long hard day. I guess this also tight to the chinese culture where soup is a must must "dishes" for each meal. Grandpa also like salted fish and salted egg. Yeah, we come from a poor family and grandpa is very thrifty.

Sometime grandpa will bring me to the river nearby so that I can have my own sweet time. The water was very cold since it come straight down from the nearby hill. Grandpa like to have its evening shower there. This has been a practice for many years. Sometime I do fear the surroundings since it looks so eerie. Considering that the place was quite dark and covered by long grass. Ya ya, I always connect long grass with those "long long" animal. The snake. I have phobia against snake (this phobia inherited from my mom).

On the 15 Feb 2008, I received a call from dad in the morning. Dad told me that grandpa had just pass away that morning. I was like OMG but in away, I felt a relief for grandpa. It was my maternal grandpa. He is 83 this year. I quickly give SF a call to get ready with Ning Ning's clothes and we need to head back to hometown ASAP. I was still in the office at the time.

It is sad to see your family member pass away but in a way, I guess it is good for grandpa. Grandpa has been fighting bravely to stay strong ever since he fell down a year ago. Last year before CNY, grandpa fell down and lost its ability to move around. He is a diabetic level 3 (i guess the number is correct), where he relied on the insulin jab to balance its sugar blood. He also have hypertension. Ya ya, when a person aged, all kind of sickness will appear. One advice to the old folks out there, be extra careful in whatever you do and never never fall down.

I used to visit grandpa and bring him his favourite food. Since grandpa can't move his arms, I fed him the "wantan" by using spoon. He still can hear us and perhaps even recognized some of us. Ya he is also having alzheimier. So I asked (yell near to his ear) him, tasty or not the food. He will turn his face towards me and smile to me nod his head indicating that the food is great.

I find it hard to cry or perhaps, I have grown up and I look at things different. The journey in my life so far had also taught me to become a stronger person. During the prayer ceremony for grandpa, out of my knowledge I suddenly feel so sad that I no longer have grandpa, grandpa had left me. Tears just flowing down my chubby cheeks.

The only regret that I have is, grandpa never had chance to carry Ning Ning in his arms and Ning Ning never had the chance to meet her great grandpa.

Lesson to everyone, appreciate whatever you have now especially people arounds you. Have no regret.

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